


The Inquisition

by PurplePlumPie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Bar, Drinking, Gen, Humor, Interrogation, Suspense, Threats of Violence, Waterboarding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:28:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27346609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurplePlumPie/pseuds/PurplePlumPie
Summary: Raidou is acting very suspicious. Good thing he has friends who are adamant to help him.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	The Inquisition

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Empress_of_Yaoi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empress_of_Yaoi/gifts).



The Inquisition

“Now tell me, isn’t it true that you have not left your apartment for two weeks? And isn’t it also true that you have not taken a single mission in three?” Ibiki asked his prisoner, seizing up him with his eyes. His voice was quiet, barely a whisper but sharp as a knife as it cut through the silence.

The prisoner’s face stayed emotionless and calm, not one muscle was twitching. There was no tuck on the corner of his lips, no wrinkling of the forehead nor a twitch of an eye that would have betrayed him. He was good but Ibiki hadn’t expected anything else; The man in front of him was a professional after all. Unfortunately for him, Ibiki was a professional as well.

“It is very suspicious, even for you, don’t you think?”, Ibiki continued, keeping his voice low while never letting the prisoner out of his sight. He tried to bait him, rile him up, make him do something, anything.

The table was separating the two not just physically. It seemed to draw a mental division as well. Again, he didn’t react, he didn’t look up, he didn’t move. It was as if he had turned into stone or as if his soul had left his earthly body.

It was strange really, Ibiki thought, an ulterior motive or some kind of tactic didn’t seem to exist.

“Hm, not very talkative today, are we? I don’t mind, honestly. I can resort to other methods”

Ibiki couldn't get a good read on his prisoner. Sure, he knew something was going on, noticed the dark purple bags underneath the eyes, the hollow sunken in cheeks and the submissive demeanor but anything beyond that was a riddle.

In a split second he drew a kunai and slammed it into the table, into the table, only a hair's breath away from the other's hand. The handle was pointing upwards, the tip buried deep into the tabletop. The prisoner’s eyes flickered up registering the kunai, they wandered up further and their gaze met. His eyes were empty and glazed over with something Ibiki couldn’t identify. After, he turned back into the stone statue.

Hm, not enough, Ibiki thought. Maybe I should use the shuriken next or the katana...

“Ibiki! The poor table, you said you would stay civil!”, Ebisu said next to him. His voice was shrill. “You said you just wanted to talk to him.”

“Relax, Ebisu. Nobody is going to mind or dare to stop me” Ibiki rolled his eyes. Why did this guy come along anyways? He always ruined the fun. Sighing, he leaned back in his seat to relax and takes a sip out of his drink.

“You will have to pay for that” the waitress deadpanned as she passed by obviously accustomed to the behaviour of the ninja. Ibiki was impressed as he realized she didn’t even clench her notepad any tighter.

"Send the bill to T&I," he drawled, a lazy smile on his face as he took another sip of his beer.

“You know that you will personally have to pay for it, after all it is not a matter for the tax payer to pay for you”, Ebisu interfered. “Send the bill to Ibiki personally, please” he said raising his voice and looking at the waitress.

She was at the next table over but heard Ebisu. Shrugging, she continued her previous task. He pushed his glasses up as they were starting to slip down his nose.

“And three more beers,” Ibiki yelled after her. She just waved and continued walking while her hips swayed. Wow, she was really relaxed around them. Well, this bar was situated downtown Konoha anyway, many ninjas frequented here, Ibiki concluded.

“And now back to you, Raidou. You can choose between cutting and waterboarding. Tell us what is going on, now”, Ibiki ordered growing impatient. His tone got harsher and he leaned forward again.

“Are you crazy? You cannot just perform torture in a bar,” Ebisu said, looking from Raidou to Ibiki and back again. His mouth ajar in awe.

“I choose waterboarding,” Raidou said, speaking for the first time this evening. He didn’t look up. He had accepted his fate.

Ibiki grinned, finally his methods started working. If only all the prisoners were as fun as Raidou and would actually choose and not screaming “I am innocent”, “I know nothing”, “I have wife and kids”, and his all-time favourite “I thought Konoha was supposed to be the nice village”.

“Raidou, don’t be stupid. Just tell him what he wants to know. You can trust us, and aren’t we your best buddies anyways?” Ebisu started to reason. He was almost begging and his voice was as high again as in the beginning.

“No, Genma is my best buddy. You are just people who kidnapped me from my apartment,” Raidou said quietly, his face as calm as his voice. “Now, Ibiki, if you would”

Ibiki opened his mouth but at that moment three beers were set between them on the table. The waitress smiled and turned to leave. In the last second, it seemed that something came to her mind and she turned around.

“This round is on the house. And again, Raidou, I am sorry about what happened with Yoko,” she said and smiled this little uncomfortable smile that was supposed to somehow give comfort. Only the comforting hand on his shoulder was missing.

She left and two ninja were left flabbergasted at the table suspicious as to what the waitress had meant.

“What was that smile, Raidou? Why is she sorry?” Ebisu asked, forgetting that he was protesting the inquisition only moments earlier.

“Who is Yoko?” was the question Ibiki asked as he was always focused on the more important details of life. 

Where Raidou had had the perfect poker face before, his mask now began to crumble. He pressed his lips together. Were his eyes watery or was it just the dust that floated through the air. Had that frown been on his brow this whole time? Suddenly, Raidou moved. Abruptly leaving his seat, he almost made it past Ibiki but the other man was faster.

“Oh no, you don’t go anywhere, I still have to waterboard you!” Ibiki got up as well and caught Raidou’s arm like a snake before the prisoner managed to slip away.

First, Raidou defended himself, struggled against the hold but the emotional weight dragged him down and he just went limp. Ibiki began dragging him towards the bathroom. The civilians they passed pretended not to look while the ninjas didn’t even bother to hide their curiosity. Their eyes followed the pair with great interest.

“Ibiki, no,” Ebisu yelled, then noticed all the glances on him, turned beet red and hurried behind Ibiki quietly.

“Ibiki, stop, you cannot waterboard someone in a bathroom in a bar in central Konoha”, he hissed. Was Ibiki crazy? This had to be illegal, even in a ninja-village.

“Oh, watch me,” the accused said cheerily and smiled. Then he heaved Raidou into the bathroom. The door closed behind them, the lock clicked. Ebisu was left outside. Alone.

Needless to say, he panicked.

He knocked on the door. Nothing. He banged on the door. Nothing. No noises. Nothing. He dared not to scream. As a ninja, his stamina was good and thus he kept on banging and banging against the damn locked door.

After a while, Ebisu realized it was hopeless. He gave up and he went back to the table where he drowned one beer after another. They were free after all.

After a while, people started leaving and it got dark outside. Still nothing. Ebisu ordered three more beers. He was the only one left in the bar. Out of desperation and frustration, he drank all of the new beers as well. Still, nothing happened. His glasses were slipping off his nose slowly.

Should he contact someone? He could try to find Gai. Gai would definitely just kick in the door and save Raidou as if he were a damsel in distress. That sounded like a bad idea, someone needed to pay for the damage after all. Maybe even Genma, even though he didn’t like that lazy guy. Always chewing on a senbon, thinking he was better than others, thinking he was _so_ cool when in reality, he was not.

Then the damn door opened. Ibiki stepped out, Raidou right behind him. While Ibiki’s chest was puffed out and his strides were long and confident, Raidou creeped behind him if he were his shadow. His clothes were wet as was his face. He looked exhausted. Drained but somehow still calm.

Ibiki was grinning and slit into the seat next to Ebisu.

“Yoko was Raidou’s girlfriend of 2 years and he caught her cheating,” he said, still grinning. Raidou nodded.

“And for that information you had to waterboard Raidou?” Ebisu asked, exhausted and feeling dizzy. “Couldn’t we have waterboarded the waitress instead?”

"Hey!" She shouted her dismay from across the bar. Ebisu shrunk into himself a little.

“Waterboarding? What are you talking about?” Ibiki asked with his eyebrows raised. He turned to Ebisu and looked him up and down.

“Didn’t you just say you went to water board Raidou? And look at him, he is dripping wet”

“Oh, that was just an excuse to get away from all the listening ears in the bar. You know how ninjas are”, Ibiki answered and picked up one of the empty beer glasses. “Hey, was this my beer?”

“Then why is Raidou wet, hm? Why is he wet, Ibiki? I am not stupid,” he started to sound frantic again. Should he report this to the Hokage? Yes, probably. This can’t be legal. Oh god, the Hokage probably already knew.

"Oh that. The tab on the sink was broken, he got sprayed pretty good," Ibiki said, laughing a little. The next moment found the man somewhat distracted however, as he started to notice the sheer amount of empty beer glasses scattered about the table.

Ebisu was only able to bury his face in his hands, the glasses forgotten. This could not be true. Ibiki was the crazy one, the lunatic, the one who wanted to torture people, why did it suddenly sound like he wanted Raidou tortured? Breathe, Ebisu, it can’t be that bad. Just breathe.

When he looked up again, Raidou was wrapped in a large towel and ready to go. Ibiki had also gotten up, hands buried in his pants pockets and shoulders pulled up a little.

“Well, I am not going to pay for this,” he said as he gestured to the table “And I need to get poor Raidou home”

Before Ebisu could protest, both of them had disappeared into thin air. He could only stare at the pile of leaves they left behind.

“So cash or check?” the waitress said patiently, smiling sweetly.


End file.
